Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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