Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.