someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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