Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He passed out mid-signature
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
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he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
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We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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