Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
