He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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