Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
