You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize
