She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
