yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
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