trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
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