Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Two words: blizzard sex
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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