my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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