Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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