Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We are all done wearing pants today
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
