In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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