Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
