Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
