wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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