Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
