Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
