i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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