saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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