Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
