That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
