come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
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Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
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And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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