Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
