Midget sex pt 2 tonight
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Randomize
