how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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