Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Randomize
