So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
