guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
