oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
