so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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