I showed him my bush... on skype.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
