I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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