it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
