Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
