Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Are my feet made of real feet?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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