Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
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He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
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Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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