$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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