He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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