Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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