STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
