if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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