had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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