So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
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Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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