No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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