did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
