Having a random hookup so left but love u
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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