is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
