I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
