There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
