Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
me + whiskey = a bad person
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize