real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Define "chronic" masturbator.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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