it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
