if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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